T here has been some talk around the internet about the state of artist bios in the classical music world, or “Zombie Bios” as I like to call them. They usually open with a trite statement about being “award-winning”, and “rapidly rising,” then continue with a grocery list of past performances, commissions, recordings, former teachers, schools, and quotes from “mystery” critics.
The gist seems to impress with impressiveness, but the whole thing seems to have fallen flat.
“A mine of useless information,” says David Lister at the Independent. “Why should we listen to you, whether you’re an international soloist or still in school?” Anastasia Tsioulcas at NPR asks.
To be blunt, most bios are boring, and unless you are an industry insider, most people simply just don’t care. What people want is to learn who an artist is as a human being, not as a C.V. And where does the publicist’s responsibility in all of these zombie-bios land?
For an artist, it usually starts with them being asked to submit a 150-word bio for the presenter to print in the program and digital promotional materials. If the artist is new to the bio game, they’ll probably proceed to Google “sample artist bio” in hopes of figuring out how to write one themselves. Your mileage may vary but from my locale in Toronto I get a sample from some guy named “Ortega”.
“Born in 1967 in Mexico City, Ortega is the leading Mexican artist of his generation.”
Considering the thousands of artists out there, there seems to be an astonishing number of self-professed “leading artists of their generation,” don’t you think? There are so many that the statement has lost its gilded luster – and now sits alone in the sentence, unbelieved.
Why not just head over to the trusty Artybullocks Generator?
While there is no set prescription for a well written and engaging bio, here’s one approach I’d suggest:
- Be Human
- Write about anyone or anything that has influenced your work
- Give a summary of your artistic philosophy
- Talk about insights or techniques you like to use or are fascinated by
- Include a short description of what you seek to accomplish with your music
So, most bios are boring (check), but what about the frames that house them: Concert Hall Programs.
There you are, 15-minutes away from the start of the show, and you glide through the lobby like a seasoned pro (never walk with your tickets in your hand, it’s bad form). You get to the door and are given a small colour booklet full of ads, inserts, bio-listicles, and patron-listicles. The black-clad gatekeep with a smirk somewhere between humility and wanton desperation guides you to your seat with your new-found paper gift. After negotiating your seat, you flip through what amounts to be a pack of advertorials that you quickly toss into the bin after a show. Arts presenters know this and even recycle now.
But here is the thing, dear reader: What if arts presenters used the opportunity (and the funds) to actually publish something worthwhile of your attention? What if a season program dared to include articles about the origin of the sackbut; an exposé about how the program was inspired. A Q&A that isn’t bland and safe, and but tells something about who this person really is.
Presenters have been busy getting hip to the publishing game in recent years. They spend big bucks on in-house publications backed by social media campaigns. Most arts groups have pretty good Facebook timelines full of interesting articles, funny cartoons, and otherwise readable takes on all the latest. But their print programs: dull, boring, and lifeless.
For a ray of hope, I was encouraged by the Toronto Symphony Orchestra this season. In September, they introduced “The Key”: a mini magazine/program that not inly includes regular concert information, but handy guides, profiles and educational pieces that place artists and works in a thoughtful and well-written historical context.
The TSO seems to recognize the eternal boredom that is the classical music program and have done something about it. I still have one sitting on my desk in front of me, which says something.
Let’s hope someone reads this somewhere and agrees that zombie-bios and zombie-programs need to be acknowledged as the Walking Dead they are. And everybody knows that the best way to get away from a Zombie is to run as fast as you can.
#LUDWIGVAN
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